Fast, cheap & easy! (It's soup, you filthy minded lech.)

I have a bit of a tortured history with lentils. It only takes one stand-out negative food experience in a child's life to forever mark that item as utterly inedible, and I had that with lentils. The back story is not terribly important, but there was a lentil burger at one point, remarkable only in it's density, alarmingly cardboad-y texture, flavorlessness and ability to be held together by, apparently, only other lentils. There was no evidence of seasoning or binding agent...just pure, unadulterated...lentil. On a bun.

It's taken me 20+ years to even ATTEMPT to consume them again, and I began with a certain level of trepidation. I've since made them several times (mostly in soups) and my fondness for them grows every time. They have, in my opinion, three things going for them: 1) they're healthy as all get out, 2) they're very, very cheap and 3) they cook up far more quickly than other dried legumes, which makes them far easier to make without advance planning. Oh yes, and they're pretty tasty, too.

The driving force behind today's culinary choice was reason #2. This has been a scandalously expensive week (mortgage and big vet bill...all at once...ouch!), and the grocery budget was...curtailed. To just about nil. Of course, one still has to eat, and I had reached my personal ceiling on PB&J. 'Twas time to do some creative shopping and exhuming of mystery items from the freezer.

Damn near every budget can include dried beans (none of the 16 oz bags in my grocery store exceed $2), and other soup staples (onions, celery, carrots) are either usually kicking around in varying stages of limpness in my fridge or are also very affordable. Thanks to the generosity of a customer at work, I also had some venison kielbasa in my freezer. A handful of spices, some water and/or stock, and ta-dah! Soup!

This particular permutation of lentil soup was jazzed up by the addition of a tandoori spice mix my mom created and had given me for Christmas. I think you'd get equally tasty results with turmeric, some Chinese Five Spice and ginger. Or curry powder. Never, ever let a soup recipe handcuff you...they are nothing if not flexible! Do NOT buy a million spices for one recipe and then let them linger on your spice rack. Buy what you'll use frequently, and experiment. This turned out to be just wonderful...spicy, rich and bright. While I used kielbasa because it's what I had, you could use any or no meat that appeals. Hot Italian sausage would be great. Chicken. Tofu. Anything. Because the kielbasa is intensely garlicky, I did not add any additional garlic to the soup. With other, less seasoned proteins, I'd go ahead and saute some along with the onions, celery and carrots.

Without further ado...

Tandoori-ish Lentil Soup with Random Meat

Ingredients

• 1/2 lb(ish) kielbasa (or chicken, sausage, tofu, or ignore this entirely) diced finely
  
• 1 large onion, peeled and diced
• 2 carrots, peeled and diced
• 2 ribs celery, diced
• Olive oil
• 4 cups broth + 2 cups water
  
• 1 1/2 cups rinsed red lentils
  
• 2 tbsp tandoori spice mix (or curry powder)
• Salt to taste

Method

• In medium pan, saute kielbasa in a little olive oil until nicely browned and a bit crisp. Remove from heat and set aside.
• In a separate, large Dutch oven, over medium heat, saute the onions, carrots and celery for about 5 minutes, or until beginning to soften.
• Add tandoori spice mix or curry powder and cook for about 1 minute, just to let the seasonings meld with the veggies.
• Pour in broth and/or water.
• Add lentils and reserved kielbasa.
• Bring to a gentle simmer, reduce heat, and let it burble for about 15 minutes.
• Season to taste with salt.

Makes 4-5 good-sized bowls

And there you have it...several meals worth of very soothing soup that will only get better with time to mellow. And all for under $2/bowl!

This dam winter...

Up until last week, I couldn't have told you what an ice dam might be, let alone been able to embark upon a 30 minute or longer diatribe on what havoc they wreak and how very, very much I hate them.

Ice dams are what happen to your gutters when you have the World's Longest Winter With Assorted Precipitation and ice well over a foot deep accumulates in your non-draining gutters. And then it snows. And rains. And snows some more. And the heat radiating from your house melts the layer nearest the roof, causing a melt layer. Which now has nowhere to go due to your gutters currently resembling something more commonly connected to penguin abodes, so it FINDS a place to go. Which in my house means in the windows, down the walls, and over my kitchen door. And while I've been lectured on not cleaning my gutters properly (and the allusion that, therefore, this is all my fault, which may or may not be true), I'm seeing the same thing happen to houses whose owners vigilantly remove any stray leaf or detritus that dares fall on their property. So. I have waterfalls all around, incessant dripping, and as of Thursday night, a door to the outdoors that froze OPEN. At 9 pm. Need I mention that it was 7 degrees F and dropping?

I employed my myriad home repair skills (whacking with hammers and shaving the door frame. Also, swearing. A lot.) to no avail. Asking for help is not a strong suit of mine, but faced with a Frigidaire of a house and a growing ice rink in my mudroom, I sucked it up and called a friend. Who, bless his cotton socks, showed up with another friend in tow, and did a handy temporary fix for the night. He even showed up the following day, hopped up on my icy, steep roof, and pried well over a foot of snow and ice off the whole thing. He is now the official superhero of this winter in my books.

Anyway...that was all a very long prelude to saying that this winter is epic, and beginning to wear on me. I'm a pretty good sport about snow, and can rise to the occasion quite happily with a pot of stew, a good book and naps. But for the love of god, this was about enough for me. I couldn't take one more heavy, meat-based dinner, and my budget doesn't quite have room in it for a trip to somewhere snow-free, so I decided I needed to bring spring to the kitchen.

Yesterday at the wine store we'd tasted a very rich and delicious Pinot Gris that I'd fallen in love with, and I wanted to make a meal that would accompany it nicely. After some thought, I decided that a curry sounded like just the thing, and a way to bring some bright flavors (and green veggies! Remember those?? I didn't, either.) to the table.

Curries often intimidate me, as the genuine articles require a list of spices as long as a hockey stick, and involve toasting and grinding and god knows what else, in order to achieve a decent dish. Well, my shortcut loving friends, allow me to introduce you to curry paste, if you haven't already met. An enormous flavor punch, with practically zero effort. Total win in my book. Anyhoo...what to curry? (I hope curry can be used as a verb. If not, it can be now.) Because one can curry virtually anything that holds still long enough to quite tasty results, really. Chicken, fish, veggies, and so on. I opted for shrimp this time around, but you could easily use whatever flips your kilt when you're making it. Just do note that shrimp is very quick cooking, so adjust your cooking time accordingly if you use something different.

Since this whole dish comes together very quickly, I started my rice prior to anything else, and the timing turned out well. I LOVE jasmine rice with spicy foods, especially to sop up excess sauces, but you could get away with whatever's in your cupboard. Without any further ado...

Coconut Curry Shrimp
(bastardized from Cooking Light)

Ingredients

1 tbsp olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
1 tsp red curry paste (this is hot stuff, so go lightly to start...this amount gives a decent amount of heat)
1 tsp sugar
2 lbs shrimp, peeled and deveined (or chicken, cauliflower, whatever...)
2/3 cup coconut milk
2 tsp fish sauce
1/2 cup chopped green onions
2 tbsp chopped fresh basil

• Get your rice cooking!
  
• Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and curry paste to pan and saute until onion softens and curry paste is blended in nicely. (You'll have to moosh the curry paste up and work it in, as it tends to blob up vs. evenly distributing.)
• Stir in sugar; saute 15 seconds.
• Add shrimp; saute until shrimp are pink, stirring frequently. This takes about 3-5 minutes for shrimp.
  
• Stir in coconut milk and fish sauce; cook 30 seconds or until heated through.
• Remove from heat, add green onions and basil.

Serve over jasmine rice with a side of sauteed sugar snap peas for a burst of much needed spring!

3 servings (for gluttons...the rest of you might make this stretch more)

And no, there aren't any pictures to accompany this. Not merely because it was inhaled upon completion (it was), but because my laptop went to be with Jesus this week, and I'm stuck using a desktop that was built in the time of mastodons, and uploading pictures might set it on fire. And then how would I obsess properly on Facebook? Really, people...I have priorities. Bad ones, sure, but still.

I'm going to go put fresh towels on my leaking windowsills now.

A blurry winter (with ham!)

Well, goodness, I've sure been a negligent blogger, haven't I? The holidays have come and gone, and you'll have to trust that I had fine intentions of delicious posts about fabulous meals. As you, my faithful readers (I'm wistfully speculating that there's more than one of you) noticed...that didn't happen.

I made a couple of tasty things, including this ham for Christmas. My brother made it, too, and we will both attest to it being very yummy and full of piggy goodness. It has been noted that eternity is two people and a ham, and I will add to that that ONE person and a ham is a task of epic proportions. I had been craving ham in a big way, and also craving split pea soup, which, in my world, requires a ham bone. You cannot BUY a bone-in ham that is under 8 lbs (at least at my grocery store). For a number of reasons, including my urgent need for time alone and a stomach virus sweeping the house I was going to spend Christmas Day at, I stayed put at my house. Just me, the dogs and 8 lbs of ham. It was heaven. And I'm not going to put the recipe for split pea soup on here, because quite frankly, it's on the back of the bag of split peas. Use that. Add some Sriracha when you serve it. I will tell you that you do NOT need to add potatoes, as I did, mistakenly thinking that the soup looks a little thin. Split pea soup is never thin, and by the next day will have morphed into a solid you must whittle out of whatever container you've put it in. I'm pretty sure it could be used in a pinch as a structural adhesive. But a tasty one! And no, I did NOT take a picture of it to put on here, because nothing is less aesthetically pleasing than pea soup. If you've ever changed a diaper, you know what we're dealing with here.

I've tried hard to make myself healthy meals when time allows, but I won't lie...the past couple of months have seen some dubious culinary choices, including meals based entirely on, say, popcorn, or cheese and crackers. I did make a batch of my granola, which has been a lifesaver on work mornings.

On a non-food note...Cara had her eye surgery. The 36 or so hours immediately after are not hours I ever care to repeat (she was painful, confused and panicked), but after that, improvement was good. She has since recovered beautifully, and other than occasionally making a misjudgment in spatial relations, is none the worse for wear. Biopsy results are good, and by all accounts, she's a happy and healthy girl, with an excellent prognosis. Yay!!

Since the news is good, and she's doing swimmingly, and her Mommy is a sick and twisted person, Santa brought her a parrot for Christmas. Because when you've cried enough, it's sometimes time for laughter, and a one eyed dog is crying out for a parrot. That there is my beautiful, brave girl, who amazes me with her resilience and courage, and whose dear face I am delighted to look at every day. And shortly after I took that picture, she ripped that damn parrot to shreds. I'm guessing her sense of irony isn't quite the same as mine. Oh well...she's allowed.

And to be fair, here's the cutest picture of Pan this winter, in the aftermath of one of our recent blizzards.


It's kind of gross, how cute she is, isn't it?

To try and make up for the lack of a good recipe on here (this is, ostensibly, a food blog, although you wouldn't know it to read it, would you?), I offer you this photo of me, looking, well, like an overly tired lunatic hugging a plush penguin. In my defense, very little sleep had been had, I was approaching 14 hours of work, and those penguins are very, very huggable.

So, there's the last month or so...no particularly memorable food, fabulous dogs, and flightless birds. Nobody ever said this blog would be cogent, now, did they?